Naming It Right For An Even Fight: Killing Misogyny, One Word At A Time.

It’s been written about all week, and it will be written and spoken about and studied for a long time to come by persons better educated and more well informed than I am, but I want to talk about the massacre of pedestrians on Yonge Street in Toronto, Ontario, Canada on Monday, April 23rd, 2018.

In less than 10 minutes, 25 persons on the Yonge Street sidewalk between Finch and Sheppard Avenues were struck by a man driving over them in a rented van at high speed. Ten persons have died at the hands of this murderer. Fifteen have been cruelly mangled at the hands of this attempted murderer. Each of the 25 with a worthy life. Each with a family. Each with friends. Each with a purpose. Each with meaning.

On April 23rd, many of us learned the word “incel” – short form for the concept of “involuntary celibate” and taken, ironically, from the writings of a woman who could not find a female sexual partner. I learned that the perpetrator of these deliberate vehicular murders and manglings of pedestrians on April 23rd was a man who felt he was an “incel”, but of a different branch. A branch that dwells on itself, that creeps in corners on the internet, that is composed of sullen young men with an awful lot of time on their hands, and that has decided, en masse, that women should be available to them sexually or should be prepared to be killed.

They have a “martyr”. They have a published system of grading women, assigning women to grades of men, and defining a social order based on an exceedingly limited, rather Eurocentric, cartoonish caste system of attractiveness and/or sexual availability.

I, too, read that with incredulity. Every time. Yet, there they are. They are purposefully detached from the myriad communities the rest of us find ourselves in, and they do not want to belong. They sneer at success, large or small, and at achievers of any kind, however mundane. They want. They want to have. They must have. They feel entitled to have. Sex. With women. Who do not want anything to do with them.


These stunted boy-men do not blame other men for denying them access to women, though. They blame women. In a twitter thread I followed yesterday, it was suggested that women who wear eyeshadow – makeup! – to improve their appearance had fooled men “above their grade” to have sex with them, thus limiting the pool of receptive vaginas for the men left over. I. Am. Not. Making. This. Up.

They are, in truth, not “involuntarily” celibate at all, and we shouldn’t call them that. They are willfully self-isolated, socially retarded, self-aggrandizing, misogynistic, immature misfits. They do not wish to do any work. They do not wish to do any self-examination. They do not wish to consult with friends, or family, or therapists. They do not wish to try to be the kind of men that women would like to spend time with.

I think we must take what power they think they have away from them, and we must start with words.

Painful as it is, I am with that excuse of an academic, Jordan Peterson, on this one. He is the fellow, basking now in popular infamy, who will not utter the self descriptive gender pronouns transgendered persons choose for themselves. In doing so, he thinks he denies their existence. He is a bigot. He is socially blind. He appears terribly afraid. He is profoundly wrong. But his method has applications useful to those of us trying to cope with senselessness and sexually immature callousness and truly incredible stupidity. We can name a tiny number of dangerous men out of their hiding places. We can call them what they are.

I suggest “incaso” – incapable of socialization. Hashtag #incaso on Twitter.

“Incameso” – incapable of meaningful socialization, is a little too long. “Mostiwibu” – mom still wipes bum, sounds like a tropical virus. “Badweatdos” – basement dweller eating Doritos (that his mother has purchased for him) will never be approved by that snack maker. “Scremas” – screen time masturbators, is slightly too vulgar for a younger audience.

So “incaso” it is. A group them is a collection of “incasos”.

Effective immediately, all formal and social media will use the term “incaso” or “incasos” to describe this kind of socially deformed man. The murderer of April 23rd will not be shown in photographs. We do not need to be reminded of what he looks like. Ever again.

The photographs and names and lives of the 10 murdered people is what we will concentrate on. Assisting the injured is what we will do. And we will call the murders and manglings what they are: pathetic, monstrous outbursts of irrational hatred towards others for flaws in the self.

We will name it.

We will push back.

Goodness and kindness always win.

CML: 2018.04.29